Beautiful Weather

Today is a gorgeous day in Krasnodar! It is so good to be home and to sleep in our own bed last night! I was so exhausted! I should have spent my morning packing the house and unpacking our bags from Forum, but instead Gavin and I played outside! He kicked around the soccer ball with Stasik and Zhenya and pushed around his Winnie the Pooh train from Nathan and Phyllis... I just enjoyed playing with him all morning. The hardest thing about Forum was being in meetings most of the day and just getting 2 or 3 hours with Gavin!

I promised I would give you guys the highlights of our time in Anapa- here goes! We stayed at a beautiful hotel (by Russia standards), called "lastochka" (meaning dove). They had beautiful grounds with GRASS for the kids to play, a great playground, outdoor pool, tennis court, and volleyball court. I just enjoyed the time to be outside! It was so quiet- I so enjoyed it! It was only a 5-10 minute walk from the beach- a beautiful Sandy beach! The water was very shallow, so the kids could go quite a ways out without going very deep at all! Perfect beach for kids! We had 2 hours of free time each afternoon and enjoyed several of those days out on the beach playing in the sand with Gavin. The water was so very cold (16C) but he didn't seem to care one bit! The hotel also offered free massages- love that part of Russia! If they're not free, they're really cheap (5 or 6 bucks, usually!) So I was able to get a massage one day after lunch. Also, on Wednesday the guys all got together and went to the Bannya- you'll have to ask JB for details, as I've never been...But basically it's an incredibly hot steam room ...They guys stay in there till they can't stand it any longer, then jump into an icy cold pool! Sounds like fun!??! They do this over and over and supposedly it's very relaxing and refreshing! Many Russians have bannyas at their homes and they jump into icy outdoor pools in the dead of winter- brr. To each his own! Okay. Enough of the amenities.

It was great to be able to see everyone on the field again, as we only get together twice a year. We had meetings with our Field Director and Regional Director regarding business and what's happening on the other fields in our region as well as news with the CMA in the states. It was great to be able to feel a little more connected with everyone that way. But, that is definitely not the reason I was able to leave this week feeling refreshed, refueled and having received healing in my soul. We were blessed by the ministry of Long Beach Alliance Church's worship team. (LBAC also sent a team of people to do the VBS for the kids- they did a fantastic job! And they also brought gifts of Reeses Cups, Starbucks coffee, and Cake and Brownie Mixes- I couldn't have been more excited! ) It was so rejuvenating to be able to worship corporately in English. I'm just beginning to get the the point that I can really worship God in song in the Russian language- so it was a nice change to be able to sing and experience God's leading through the ministry of their worship team. We were also brought into the presence of God by Ruth and Morrison Dirks- Ruth is a professional counselor and Morrison is a former pastor who is now working with other pastors and leaders through a ministry called Soul Formation.

What did God teach me? Through their ministry I was able to come to grips with the real condition of my soul- It stinks. I have had a soul that has been grieving for a long time. I have never really had a time to reconcile and deal with my grief over the last year. How do I mean? Well... We have said so many good-byes and our life has changed forever...But yet I've never taken time to really process what that meant for me personally. May 29th will be a year from our last Sunday at BAC. From that point it was nothing but moving and goodbyes for 3 months. We left our ministry and a week later were at Wheaton College for a class and pre field orientation. Talk about no time to deal with what just happened! So, I arrived on the field thinking I had it all together, only to find out last week that I really never just sat before the Lord and wept over my 'losses'. Please don't read this and think I am sorry we came or I'm whining, but in order for healing to happen in your life you have to face the reality and the costs. I gave up a lot- only to gain more, but it still hurts. It was so freeing to be able to receive healing and to be honest before God. Wow. I feeling so much "lighter" if that makes any sense?

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. Matt. 11:28-30 (The Message)

On top of that we discussed how we deal with conflict. There are 4 corners people run to when conflict occurs. I am someone who runs from conflict- an Avoider; as well as someone who gives in, works to please and smooth over the conflict- an Accomodater. I have very often over the last year found myself in conversations with people when I don't "show up" b/c it's uncomfortable for me- even though inside I'm boiling and turned inside out of what is going on. God has shown me that it isn't glorifying to him to Avoid those hard conversations and to accommodate just because I might make some waves. I need to continue to pray for strength to have those tough conversations, no matter how uncomfortable I may be and no matter if I'm not making the problem "better" by pretending it doesn't exist. So...On that note, if any of you run across either of these two books (" Fierce Conversations" and "Do I have to give up me, to be loved by you") Could you send them my way?

So, those were the highlights of my week and I am so thankful for those who flew halfway around the world to minister to us! Living in Russia is draining, especially when you don't have the kids of 'refueling times' (Worship service, bible studies, fellowship, Christian radio, Christian books, etc) that you are used to- or at least in your own language!